We all desire intimacy, to be deeply connected. To fully express who we are. To enjoy innocent intimacy. For many people, however, this natural thirst is wrapped with emotions of guilt, inadequacy, and even being less spiritual. Yet we are sexual, sensual, and physical beings. We thrive on pleasure and play, to explore and experience the whole of our beingness and to share our deepest desires. Intimacy is sacred and it is more than the sexual act and sexual health. A return to the innocence of no-holds-barred nakedness of mind, body, and soul could be the healing balm and way back to living with curiosity, passion, and joy.
In Tantra: Discover the Path from Sex to Spirit, Shashi Solluna offers a meditation as a practice to rediscover innocent intimacy. She reminds us that it’s about connecting with our inner sensations and the energy that flows within us. Rather than chasing external objects and experiences to fill any emptiness we feel, we come to understand that true fulfillment comes from within.
In our mind-driven world, we have indeed lost touch with our body. For varied reasons, we have cut off parts of ourselves, and learned to distrust our body and our feelings. Perhaps to fit in, to elicit approval, to feel belonging. Or to stop feeling pain. Being embodied and feeling ourselves as a physical being can be scary, terrifying even.
…when we aren’t connected to our body
Denying this connection to our own body, however, often means repressing or dulling our feelings and sexuality. We question if we are too aggressive or too passive, too demanding or too needy, staying in the mind and patterns of fear, rather than being in the moment and responding to our needs and those of our partner as they flow.
Insecurity and other distorted energies pollute the waters we swim in with others. Meaningful and deep connections are elusive and often we end up chasing the shiny ball. Encounter after encounter, relationship after relationship, wondering what is wrong with us, blaming others for not understanding, giving, or loving.
What can also show up instead are perverted extremes and power play in an attempt to feel, to matter. Pent up energies can leak into other areas of life, and we experience stagnation, frustration, and unfulfilled desires.
We are more than physical beings and yet, we cannot exclude this dimension of our being. Body, mind, soul. As spiritual beings, we have chosen to incarnate on earth at this time, in these physical vehicles. It is time we embrace and anchor the fullness of our light, energy, and frequencies, especially as we move into a new age.
Exploring Innocent Intimacy through Meditation
For the full meditation practice, check out Tantra. Here is a sampling of questions from that meditation:
- What intimacy do you wish to experience in this moment?
- What inner sensations arise when you imagine how it would feel? Observe them as if they are the “most fascinating things in all of existence”.¹
- Through conscious full breaths, allow the space for these inner sensations to grow. Experience their energy.
- Observe the world when you open your eyes. Do you see or feel any differences?
By meeting desire with full loving awareness, we can return to the state of our original innocence.Shashi Solluna ²
…when we are connected to our body
When we reconnect and become aware of our own inner sensations, we awaken our body and build a conscious relationship with ourselves. When we are present to ourselves, we can be present with our partner. We respond, surrender, yield, and dance with life force.
Conscious sensuality and sexuality allows for truth in how we connect, touch, exchange our erotic energy, and yes, in our lovemaking that goes beyond the physical. This experience then transcends the physical act, which may have once been a desperate, rapid-speed way to find true fulfillment. At our core, we are innocent, joyous, and radiant. Let us return to this truth and explore our innocent intimacy with life itself.
1 Tantra : Discovering the Path from Sex to Spirit by Shashi Solluna Hay House, 2016. p9.
2 Ibid., p47.