Discomfort and resistance – what are their roles? I saw an interesting question about growth and the comfort zone today that I wanted to unpack.
When I took a Super Coherence course with Thrifty, I first heard of this concept that learning and growth do not need to come from struggle, challenge, or discomfort. It felt novel and a door opened.
More often than not, however, we’ve been told that we need to push through, or things like “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” Other popular ones include “no pain, no gain”, “where there is a will, there is a way” or doing something scary every day and stepping out of our comfort zone. This may be true for specific individuals as we are each unique. I want to offer that my Design with a passive brain/body and mind with an open Ego/Will centre, most of these do not feel aligned for me. If you have a defined Ego centre, if there is a will, there is a way. Still, honouring your body consciousness allows you to align with that correct way.
Strategies, Conditioning, and Comfort Zone
Our Human Design Bodygraph shows the areas we are most open to conditioning and homogenization. At the highest level, these are our undefined energy centres. These are our receptors, and how we take in external energy and when correct, it moves us along our trajectory. Because we do not have consistent and reliable energy with these centres, we are not very clear about what their healthy expressions are. We can also easily lose ourselves in the energy that floods into us when we are in aura with someone with that centre defined. It can be overwhelming, and confusing. We may assume that this is us as well, when it is not. We judge it and try to change it, even though it’s not us and so we cannot.
The Undefined Solar Plexus
Let’s take an example with the undefined Solar Plexus. 50% of people have an undefined Solar plexus; some may call them an empath. They take in the emotional energy of the other 50%. The not-self theme of this centre is avoiding confrontation and avoiding sharing their truth. Remember these strategies are set when we are young. Imagine a child with an undefined Solar Plexus with a parent who is unaware of their defined Solar Plexus. Being a motor, the energy of this centre comes in waves that are constantly moving. Depending on which part of the wave the parent is on, the child may meet an enthusiastic happy person or a depressed person or an angry person. The child doesn’t understand and assumes it’s something they’ve done so they try to not do anything, for fear of eliciting very powerful emotional outbursts from their parent. This feels like chaos and can be like poison to the undefined Solar Plexus.
So the comfort zone of this child who grows up into an adult is avoiding confrontation. They do not want to accidentally get the other person upset. This means they may not go to certain places, thinking they can avoid confrontation by staying home. They may smile a lot and learned to be a people-pleaser to feel safe. This is unconscious and most people are not likely to be aware of these behavioural patterns. And if they do, they may not understand why.
However, making decisions from these not-self themes does not lead us to where is correct for us. And the conditioning and resistance continue and instead of making decisions differently, they continue and the cycle continues.
Resistance & Learning
I have thought much about resistance for a long time. Some people have taught that resistance is something to push through, something for us to learn to overcome, or a signpost we are not trying enough or doing something wrong. For example, people with the Channel of Struggle active in their Design are wired to persevere to see which challenges are worth sticking with, to find meaning and joy. his is not for everyone. That’s not their current incarnative “plan”. Those with this channel also can inspire others to find meaning; however it is through following our inner compass that we find the way that is correct for us. It certainly isn’t about seeing or making everything as a struggle.
I see resistance as a sign that I’m not where I’m “supposed” to be. Or that I’ve made a decision from my mind. We each have a role to play and being in the right place, with the right people, at the right time makes the difference. As a 1/3 I’m here to discover what works. Even in a place that’s not correct for me, it can seem like I am learning. However, when we are out of alignment, those gems don’t have value for us and are not valuable when we share them with others. It’s fake gold that glitters. I’ve found that this last part has been difficult for people to be open to and consider in their own Human Design Experiment.
While I write from a Human Design point of view, this applies to any path. What does this decision lead to? What happens if I shift how I make decisions or when I shift my perspective on this belief? Does it lead me to joy? To more resistance? Do I feel satisfaction, peace, success, or surprise in my life?
Here’s something more to consider:
What if we are born perfect? That we don’t need to improve ourselves and life is about aligning to our trajectory, moving toward our destiny?
What if our journey as adults are to release the conditioning and the strategies we’ve created to feel safe? To peel off the layers of masks we have put on to find a place of belonging?
The Strategy and Authority of our Design are based on what’s defined in us. This is what we have consistent and reliable access to. Following them align our body to the path of least resistance. This does not mean we experience no discomfort. It is quite a journey and deconditioning process to actually surrender to it and trust it. In the beginning, it is not comfortable as Strategy and Authority is about aligning the body with its trajectory in the world and it does not change the mind and how it works. The not-self mind continues to be the spokesperson for the not-self themes. The mind will keep telling stories to keep us safe as it understands it. So in that sense, the return journey home can be full of discomfort and it is our own experiment to learn to discern what is resistance and what is the discomfort of the not-self mind. The mind will continue to fight for control, because it is fearful. Resistance is a signpost that the mind is still in control.
To find your Human Design Bodygraph and what your Strategy and Authority are, get it free on Jovian Archive and Human Design. You can also get free reports to get started. I also have information on my website www.Conversational.Space and on my social media accounts, Instagram and Facebook, as well as through What Therapy newsletters.