Another Look at the Four Agreements

You’ve probably heard of The Four Agreements. Maybe you’ve seen it on Pinterest, Instagram, another social media platform, or have read it at some point. It may be time to have another look.

We are in times of accelerated change and dissolution of paradigms. We can definitely call it the end times. Many ideas, institutions, systems, and structures are coming to an end. Many of our own beliefs are also being challenged, upgraded, and let go. This is exciting and it can be daunting. If you are not familiar with The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, this may be a good time to take a look at this Toltec-based wisdom. Through the exploration of The Four Agreements, we also begin to examine the agreements we have in place, with ourselves and others. Seeing through the habit and auto-pilot we have installed can be liberating and thus help us navigate these times of great change with our own truth.

The Four Agreements are simple principles. Putting them in practice, in real-life scenarios, especially with loved ones who see us and expect us to be a certain way, requires patience, compassionate, loving kindness, and time. Please do not place the unnecessary burden on yourself by expecting to have the Four Agreements in play immediately.

The Four Agreements


Words are powerful and it’s our responsibility to wield this tool with integrity. Take a day and observe what you say. Become a loving and detached witness and see what you talk about. Are there words you use a lot? How do you speak about yourself? How do you tell your story or respond to others? What about how you speak about others? What is the motivation behind sharing certain information about yourself and others? Being impeccable is not about morality; it is about being honest and love. How you feel about something and someone is subjective; it’s your truth and it’s not our right to impose that onto others. What we can learn is being honest; first with ourselves. Be honest why you feel the need to gossip or speak about certain things in a certain way. Be honest about how you are leading your life and if you are unhappy, it’s on you to change it.

Don’t Take Anything Personally

So often we get mad at others because we believe they have been unkind. We are triggered. It’s best to look at why we feel triggered. If someone in our life is unkind, perhaps take a look at the boundaries we have. Why are they in our life? Also have compassion and understand that what we say is a projection of our own life. It’s the same for others. When we chase after approval, life is pretty miserable. Can we be in a place where we don’t take what others say personally? And that other people’s opinions are just that – their opinions. It’s not the truth.

Don’t Make Assumptions

We do not know what’s going on in other people’s lives. Or their minds and hearts. We are often a conundrum to ourselves! So don’t make assumptions, especially when it is only a minute or a small slice of interaction. Have the courage to ask for clarification.

Always Do Your Best

Always do your best. Be kind with yourself and know that you are doing your best. This means knowing that we do not have to prove ourselves to anyone. Not at all.

Honour how you feel. Maybe you feel tired or “off” – take a break. We are human beings, not human doings. Be the flow that you are, as an energetic being.

We live in a not-self world full of conditioning forces. If you find yourself unhappy, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied, perhaps it’s because you aren’t actually living your own life, exploring your own differentiated potential. The Four Agreements are simple principles that can help us navigate through the illusion by first seeing the habits we have in place are limiting and which continue to shape the not-self. The best way to navigate fast changing times is being light – yes, it’s okay to put down the emotional baggage. We are energetic beings and it’s time to honour our life force.