However, in some lives, there comes a time when these strategies do not work anymore. Familiar coping techniques and defence mechanisms fall flat.
Attempts to lift ourselves out of the doldrums fail. Difficulties recur and even multiply.
At some point, we begin to ask the questions: Who am I? What am I supposed to be doing here? We question our identity, we discover our ego and the pain that it endures.
At some point, we may begin to see that the only way out of pain is through. To get through, we first need to acknowledge and experience the pain where we are. That is usually the most difficult part for us. It can be too overwhelming without some kind of support and guidance.
Here is a guided meditation which may be also be used with EFT or meridian tapping for those who are looking for the courage and wisdom to keep on going, when they find themselves walking in that wilderness.
This meditation is for people who are trapped in their pain, despair, fear, angst, paralysis, or anything else that help us question who we are. Please substitute the word “word” below with any word that resonates with you.
I am in pain. I am this pain. My ego is the stream of constrictions that is built around this pain. I am identified with my ego constrictions. My ego is built on this pain, if it loses this pain then the ego will die and the ego is afraid to die. Even though I am still holding onto this, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. I forgive myself, and anyone else, who may have contributed to this. I honour myself for seeing through this.
I am my pain, at some level I am attached to it. I need it. It is familiar and comfortable. It protects me and tells me who I am. My pain helps to define me, and defends me from the void of not being. If I am not my pain, then I am not me. If I am not me, then who will I be…I am familiar with this pain. This pain protects me. This is the way I know how to BE. Even though I feel that this pain protects me, and I don’t want to let it go, I am doing the best I can with the tools I have.
I experience my pain, so that means the pain is real, but the conclusions, inferences, interpretations drawn from them, are they so accurate, are they true, are they good, are they useful? Are there other possible interpretations, inferences, and conclusions?
Who and I and what am I doing in the world?
What happens if the ego built on pain dies? Are there other egos that will take its place? What are the other egos like? What are they attached to? More pleasant things? Can we choose? What if we can choose another experience? What if we are already choosing? What if we are choosing this pain? What if we choose to experience something else? Like hope and peace and wisdom and strength?
What happens when we allow the whole stream of egos to rest, if only for a while, and allow the silence from which it arises to manifest? Who am I in that silence, in that space?
Siewfan Wong is the founder of DeepDive Coaching, a certified NLP Coach and a practitioner of EFT, NLP New Code, Enneagram InnerWork, and Chios Energy Field Healing. She also uses tools from a variety of other modalities including Transactional Analysis, Applied Kinesiology, and intentional healing.
After working in the hospitality IT industry, with an MBA from Institute of Management Development and BA from Michigan State University, Siewfan decided in 2003 to step off the corporate ladder and turned her attention to personal development and alternative healing. She has lived and worked in the US, China, Malaysia, and Switzerland.