All things come to an end. That’s the nature of cycles. Why is it so many people do so poorly with endings of things?
The thing about endings
Endings can sometimes feel drastic, especially when it is happening to us. When we’ve got some skin in the game.
What if we look at endings as something happening for us? How would that change the lens through which we see our lives?
Can this event (divorce, a loss, job redundancy, plans falling apart, rejection, etc) be the catalyst that leads us to a transformation?
Are you ready for some things to change? Some patterns to end? Releasing what was not your own truth to begin with?
Life is change. Life is choices.
Even when we appear to be making no choices, a choice is made. We are constantly creating our lives through the choices we make and those we do not make. If life looks the same, despite our efforts, we can ask what is underlying this pattern? What is keeping us from making different choices?
As humans, we can become stagnant in life when we live from fear. As humans, we fear death and the unknown. We fear we will not have the strength, courage or resources to cope with whatever comes our way. Or with whatever hardships and challenges that call upon the depths of who we are.
What if we must examine everything in our lives – every idea of who we are, the principles we stand for, who we think our friends are, what we are capable of? Who are we, at the end of the day? What if we are left being alone?
In fear, we live in poverty.
We hang on, hoping we are sheltered from the storms of life. Even as what we are hanging onto becomes threadbare from our clutching and grasping. This very energy slowly dissolves the integrity and the beauty of what we once had.
We hang onto relationships even if we cannot fully express who we are. We stay because we fear being alone. We forget alone does not equate loneliness. Or maybe we never learned, because the overculture’s messages is that we should be coupled and in some perfect nuclear family unit.
There is beauty in being alone, in the silence, in discovering who we are and loving who we are, warts and all. The relationship with ourselves is the primary one, the foundation for all relationships.
Or we shrink back and allow our truth to die in the throat. Swallowing who we are imbalances the throat chakra and is a sign of imbalance in this chakra. This may be experienced physically as a thyroid issue, for example. Perhaps we were shut down once to many times and we told ourselves we would never stick our necks out and get hurt like that. Ever. Again. NEVER.
There is a Process
These wounds need space and love to heal. Be kind and gentle. In the process, let us not isolate and exile ourselves from the love that we deserve, and desire. When we have been hurt, we move into protection mode. What we do here can be based in fear or in love. Do we choose to focus on the wounds and blame the world? Stay the victim? Or look at the messages of the Victim Archetype and become victorious? Do we look within and find the message? Do we need better boundaries? Do we need to voice more clearly our needs and desires?
In what ways can we love ourselves more fully, more deeply, and more unconditionally?
We can forget that life is abundant and we are surrounded by fecundity. Look at nature. More importantly perhaps we forget there is a time for everything. “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) Some things are meant to end, so we can experience something else. Friendships that end may come around another time. Opportunities arise again and again. We can forget this and we hoard.
Breathe life into you and let life breathe love in.
It comes down to worth
Not what others think of us; what we think of ourselves. The question is – How worthy do you feel you are?
Know – “I am enough.”
Everyone does have an opinion, filtered through their own personal and ancestral experiences. Why do so many of us elevate those opinions above our own?
Understanding the Victim Archetype
According to Caroline Myss, the Victim Archetype shows us how and where we believe other people have power and authority over us and we have none. We can learn from the shadow of this archetype, including where we are not taking responsibility and fault others for feeling victimized.
When we challenge this belief with courage every time it comes up, we build self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. As long as we are tuned into our “attitude tribe” our shared energetic dynamics and unconsciousness continue to shape our lives. Caroline Myss’ definition of enlightenment is the process through which we find out why we do not want to be empowered.
We get into trouble when we place others on pedestals and give our power away. We are all fallible and everyone will disappoint at some point. We cannot expect one person to meet all our needs – that is an unrealistic expectation. The lesson is always to love and trust ourselves as life throws us curveballs as lessons and reminders. Just when we think we got it figured out. Just when we think we found a guru, someone to give us the answers. The thing with answers is there are always more questions. Someone once said when we are ready for the answers, we will know the right questions.
Life is open-ended, with cycles of beginnings and endings. When we do not allow what is to end, we do not have clarity for the beginning we desire.