All things come to an end. That’s the nature of cycles. Why is it so many people do so poorly with endings of things?
The thing about endings
Endings can sometimes feel drastic, especially when it is happening to us. When we’ve got some skin in the game. When what we’ve built is at risk.
What if we look at endings as something happening for us? How would that change the lens through which we see the situation and our lives as a whole?
Can this event (divorce, a loss, job redundancy, plans falling apart, rejection, etc) be the catalyst that leads us to a transformation?
Are you ready for some things to change? Some patterns to end? Releasing what was not your own truth to begin with?
Life is change.
As it’s said, the only constant in life is change. If life looks the same, we can ask what is the underlying pattern? What keeps this pattern alive? What is keeping us from alignment?
We can become stagnant in life when we live from fear. It is a frozen state. As humans, from an existential level, we fear death and the unknown. We fear we will not have the strength, courage or resources to cope with whatever comes our way. Or with whatever hardships and challenges that call upon the depths of who we are. We fear that people will see us as weak and not good enough.
What if we must examine everything in our lives – every idea of who we are, the principles we stand for, who we think our friends are, what we are capable of? Who are we, at the end of the day? What if we are left being alone?
In fear, we live in poverty. A life without flow, grace, and miracles.
We hang on, hoping we are sheltered from the storms of life. Even as what we are hanging onto becomes threadbare from our clutching and grasping. This very energy slowly dissolves the integrity and the beauty of what we once had.
We hang onto relationships even if we cannot fully express who we are. We stay because we fear being alone. We forget alone is not loneliness. Or maybe we never learned, because the overculture’s messages is that we should be coupled and in some perfect nuclear family unit.
There is beauty in being alone, in the silence, in discovering who we are and loving who we are, warts and all. Alone in our own aura, to know our unique frequency. The relationship with ourselves is the primary one, the foundation for all relationships. If we cannot be alone with ourselves, we can never be truly ourselves in relationship with others.
Or we shrink back and allow our truth to die in the throat. Swallowing who we are imbalances the throat chakra and is a sign of imbalance in this chakra. This may be experienced physically as a thyroid issue, for example. Perhaps we were shut down once to many times and we told ourselves we would never stick our necks out and get hurt like that. Ever. Again. NEVER.
We’ve been conditioned to act a certain way, because somewhere along the line we thought we would be safe, we would belong, and we would be loved.
There is a Process
These wounds need space and love to heal. Be kind and gentle. In the process, let us not isolate and exile ourselves from love. When we have been hurt, we move into protection mode. What we do here can be based in fear or in love. Do we focus on the wounds and blame the world? Stay the victim? Or look at the messages of the Victim Archetype and become victorious? Do we look within and find the message? Do we need better boundaries? Do we need to voice more clearly our needs and desires? Perhaps it’s time to look at our conditioning and coping strategies we’ve created from that space.
In what ways can we love ourselves more fully, more deeply, and more unconditionally?
We can forget that life is abundant and we are surrounded by fecundity. Look at nature. More importantly perhaps we forget there is a time for everything. “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) Some things are meant to end, so we can experience something else. Friendships that end may come around another time. Opportunities arise again and again. We can forget this and we hoard.
Breathe life into you and let life breathe love in.
It comes down to YouR SEnse of Self-Worth
Not what others think of us; what we think of ourselves. The question is – How worthy do you feel you are?
Know – “I am enough.” This really is the starting point. A non-negotiable.
Everyone does have an opinion, filtered through their own personal and ancestral experiences. Through their conditioning that pulls them away from the potential of their wisdom and unique perspective. Why do so many of us elevate others’ opinions above our own? When did we decide to abdicate our personal power and truth?
Understanding the Victim Archetype
According to Caroline Myss, the Victim Archetype shows us how and where we believe other people have power and authority over us and we have none. We can learn from the shadow of this archetype, including where we are not taking responsibility and fault others for feeling victimized.
When we challenge this belief with courage every time it comes up, we build self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. As long as we are tuned into our “attitude tribe” our shared energetic dynamics and unconsciousness continue to shape our lives. Caroline Myss’ definition of enlightenment is the process through which we find out why we do not want to be empowered.
We get into trouble when we place others on pedestals and give our power away. We cannot expect one person to meet all our needs – that is an unrealistic expectation. The lesson is always to love and trust ourselves as life throws us curveballs as lessons, reminders, and signs of resistance from the Universe. Just when we think we got it figured out. Just when we think we found a guru, someone to give us the answers. The thing with answers is there are always more questions. Someone once said when we are ready for the answers, we will know the right questions.
Life is open-ended, with cycles of beginnings and endings. When we do not allow what is to end, we do not have clarity for the beginning we desire.
