We often hear the phrase “holding space” but what does that mean?
Life has its challenges – opportunities for us to be vulnerable, open, and just be okay with not being okay. These are usually judged as being weak and the general program we are taught is to be strong, and stay strong, especially when we are in difficult situations.
But only being strong and stoic, in painful times such as when someone is dying, separates us from engaging with others and with what we are actually feeling and allowing it all to be. To resonate with our own truths. It is not only in these types of situations that being open is important. Being in the moment and to have the courage to speak our truth is profound when we are creating or when we are with ourselves or someone else. It is about connecting, without expectations.
Being in a safe space, where we are not being judged, is crucial. This includes the judgment of what is right or wrong, what needs to be done and how, and what someone is able to do, think or feel. Holding space is allowing people to find their own truths from within, without them feeling the pressure to succeed in a specific paradigm of success. Holding space is about being supportive, the way people need to be supported. It is not about us. It is not about what we know, what we have experienced, what we think is right. We are not here to fix each other, especially not in #space holding. We are not even here to “empower” them with more information, more suggestions, or more solutions.
As #spaceholders, we simply walk alongside those who may merely need our presence, energy, and unconditional support, in the service of what they need. Allowing them to fall apart, if that’s what they need, without feeling judged. Respecting their choices.
Sit in the energy of compassion and empathy, without being pulled by our ego or pulled into their experience. We are centres. Anchors.
Holding space is not limited to those who lead meditations or yoga classes or coaches. We can and do all hold space for each other so that they can hold space for others. Even the strongest of us needs someone to hold space for us. We also need to hold space for ourselves, giving ourselves permission to be. To be okay or not okay. To be inspired. To be quiet. To allow others to hold space for us. We need to take care of ourselves, so that we can live the life we want and hold the space for positive change in our lives and in the world.