How to Ask the Right Questions for Empowerment

In Jennifer Hoffman’s course Surrender, she reminds us that we ask the question because the answer is there. We are ready for the answer. We have to learn how to ask the right questions.

Often we are asking the “wrong” questions, skimming the top, skirting the issue, circling the truth. Sometimes we are simply not ready. Not ready to hear the truth. Perhaps we do not yet possess the wisdom or courage to move through.

We end up editing the incoming information. Or we distort it to fit it into our current paradigm, even as we are moving out of the old beliefs. It is a responsibility for the seeker and the messenger to be open-hearted, coming from a place of respect, truth, love, and freedom. Empowerment.


Presentation of information at the wrong time or the wrong place can lead to great harm.

Benebell Wen, Holistic Tarot


Why is it so hard to ask the right questions?

Within all of us lies the answer. When we get quiet, we hear it with clarity. The challenge mostly is how to be in the space to receive and follow the guidance. Where is this source of resistance?

According to the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, suffering is caused by desire/attachment. We have strong opinions about how our lives should be, how other people should behave, and how the world should be. What is right/good. What is bad/evil. What is fair and just.

Because we are so focused on minimizing any further pain, harm, and loss, we tend to frame our questions around these pain points. How to reduce, remove, and avoid pain.

We can be so overwhelmed and consumed by what we see in front of us that we forget our eagle vision.

Byron Katie’s The Work gives us these four questions to ask –

  1. Is it True?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

Here are the instructions for The Work for you to explore this approach, with these four questions and the turnaround statement.

asking the right questions

How to Ask the Right Questions

The questions we ask reflect the space we are in. How to ask the right questions is predicated on the intention to hear the truth. The intention may exist on the conscious level though there may be resistance.

In Michael A Singer’s The Untethered Soul, he reminds us to sit back into our seat of consciousness and be the witness. Be the witness of what is happening and be the ocean, not the waves. We are the sky. Clouds and storms are not the sky; they happen and they pass. We are the sky. We are the ocean.

If meditation is not “your thing”, find what brings you into your inner universe, into the vastness and expanse within. Connect with your intuition by heeding it. Use oracle or tarot cards to reveal what your subconscious mind may be blocking and what the ego may be afraid of. The most important questions are the ones we are too terrified to ask and the ones we must venture. These other entry points can reframe questions in a way that is curiosity-driven, paradigm-shifting, and interesting to explore.

In this outdated paradigm, we believe that growth and evolutionary come only from painful lessons. What if this is not the only path? What if we can learn from fun, creativity, and joy?

Why not? Now that’s a question.