What we do in the moment can make all the difference.
Whether it’s 3pm or 3am. Even if your therapist is on speed dial.
Therapy is ultimately about empowerment and nothing quite beats self-empowerment. Knowing that “you’ve got it” and the ability to do something about it.
It can simply be using a mantra or an affirmation like “I don’t have to think about this now” as suggested by INTU’s Julie Ann or focusing on your breath. Long deep inhale + longer exhale, all the way down to the toes, seeing your soft belly rise and fall with each in- and out-breath.
The key is to stay in the present, with whatever is happening. It may be uncomfortable. It may be painful. It may be darn scary.
The idea of what is, what it could be, is often far more terrifying than what it actually is. Suppressing what you are going through, with drugs or alcohol, or distracting yourself only buries it for a while longer, springloading it with greater tension. The more we ignore what needs to be looked at, the more we learn to dissociate from it. The relief is only temporary as our separation from our body becomes more poignant. The body, after all, is trying to tell us something. We learn to live with pain and forget what true wellness feels like.
So what can we do when it comes to the crunch? Try these 4 simple tools for those tough moments.
1 Bach Flower Rescue Remedy®
For millions of people worldwide RESCUE Remedy® has become an emotional ally
Carly Harding, Registered Bach Practitioner
First made by Dr Bach in the 1930s, this flower essence combination is gentle but effective for all sorts of emergencies. From being unsettled doing public speaking to full-blown accidents. Made from five flower remedies, Rescue Remedy® helps put the calm back into play. That’s because Rock Rose is for terror and panic, Impatiens for irritation and impatience, Clematis for a lack of focus, Star of Bethlehem for shock, and Cherry Plum for all the irrational thoughts that invariably circle ’round and for a lack of control.
The original formulation uses alcohol as a preservative. The range now includes a glycerin formulation for kids and pets. Also available – spray, pastilles, cream, and gum.
How to Use: For acute situations, put 4 drops on the tongue. Continue with 4 drops in a glass of water and sip throughout the day. For people and pets who don’t like the taste, simply put a few drops on your hands and rub through their body. Note that the pastilles with its sugar substitute and chewy texture are not suitable for animals.
Enjoy 10% off your first order $40 + up (5% on smaller orders) with this code CIR821. Check out iHerb
Other “rescue remedies” – Emergency Australian Bush Flowers and Five Flowers Formula by Flower Essence Services (FES). The FES version of the rescue remedy is also based on Dr Bach’s original formulation and is organic and biodynamic. I love all 3 and tend to rotate. I usually give my dogs the Bach Flower Rescue Remedy® version. Some people feel the Five Flowers is even more effective at helping emotional issues. Straight out of the bottle, FES is stronger because it’s stock dosage.
2 Jin Shin Jyutsu
Have you ever put your hands on the small of your back to breathe better?
Or rubbed the spot above your eyebrows to spark a memory? What about sucking your thumb?
If you have, you already know Jin Shin Jyutsu. It’s natural – our innate wisdom. We know to place our hands where they are needed. Whatever name we give it.
Jin Shin Jyutsu, an energy healing modality, is based on that knowledge. It can be as simple as holding a finger or a little more involved, using sequences of points on the body. What Jin Shin Jyutsu does, is to harmonize our body, mind, and spirit. You do not have to be a practitioner to start using it. Jin Shin Jyutsu has a self-help component that is simple and easy for everyone to use.
Are you having a panic attack because you are worried about a huge project? Hold your thumb.
Whenever you are feeling these emotions – worry, fear, anger, sadness, and the need to try – grab the corresponding finger.
Catch yourself trying too hard? Trying to be Supermom? The son you think your mom would be proud of? Hold your little finger.
Not sure what you are feeling? Try the second finger. Fear is the root of all “negative” emotions.
How to: The beauty of Jin Shin Jyutsu is that there is no wrong way of doing it. Simply wrap your left fingers around a finger of your right hand or vice versa. Or hold any part of the finger – a part or the whole finger. Hold for as long or as short a time as you like. Feel the change within. Jin Shin Jyutsu is a wonderful self-help to add to your healing toolkit.
3 Access Consciousness™
Are you a talker? You would love this one, especially if you like asking questions.
Asking questions shifts awareness and focus and well, helps us access greater consciousness.
Questions like, what if.
What if there was nothing wrong with me? What if I’m not as screwed up as I thought/people told me? What if life is not meant to be a struggle?
So… What if there was nothing wrong with me? Everywhere I decided that, times a godzillion, I destroy and uncreate it all…And now add the Clearing Statement™ “Right and wrong, good and bad, POC and POD, all 9, shorts, boys, and beyonds”.
Quite a mouthful but you absolutely do not need to know what it means for it to work. Not knowing is sometimes a thing of beauty.
(But if you do want an explanation of these words mean – listen to Dr Dain Heer)
Other questions and statements to try? Does this belong to me? What an interesting point view. How does it get any better than this?
Tip: Access Consciousness™ tools work whether you say the statements out loud or in your head. It’s a good idea not to say statements like “what an interesting point of view” outloud as some people may take offense. This statement is to help you move to a place of non-judgment.
Nothing comes closer to “magic” than the positive results I have personally witnessed using EFT on thousands of my patients who suffered from physical and emotional pain and illness.
Not drumming your fingers on the table. Tapping is Emotional Freedom Technique, a copyright-free tool available to everyone (a gift from its founder Gary Craig). Thousands of people use Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT for relief from everything – phobias, chronic pain, emotional challenges, addictions, etc. Like in acupuncture and acupressure, meridian points are activated. With EFT, it’s tapping 12 of these points, just 5 – 7 times. It’s easy and it’s definitely painless – no needles is a bonus for many people.
Why does tapping like with EFT work? According to research at the Harvard Medical School, the “brain’s stress and fear response could be lessened by stimulating the meridian points used in acupuncture, acupressure, and of course, tapping”.
How to: EFT is easy! Identify how you are feeling, on a scale of 0 – 10 (10 =100% freaked out). Use the following structure – Statement of the issue “Even though I have this/I am/I feel____” followed by Acceptance and Reconciliation “I deeply and completely love and accept myself and anyone else who contributed to this situation” and the Affirmation and Empowerment “I now choose to be______”.
An example – “Even though I am feeling anxious and panicky, I deeply and completely accept myself and anyone else who contributed to this situation. I now choose to be confident and relaxed.”
Now, let’s get tapping. With four fingers, tap the karate chop point on the other hand. This is the outer edge of the hand. Repeat the statement a few times, while tapping this point. Then using a reminder phrase like “my anxiety”, “panic”, tap out the rest of the points in this sequence – eyebrow, side of eye, under the eye, under the nose, chin, collar bone, under arm, and top of the head.
After this sequence, gauge how you are feeling. You can repeat the sequence, with the statement and tapping, until you get low enough on the scale that you feel comfortable once again.
Tip: “If you forget everything else, tap the karate chop point. It’s for psychological conflict. Use the karate chop point for those “damned if I do and damned if I don’t or I’m freaking out because I’m not okay” times. Alternatively tap the “ouch point”. This is the bunch of lymph nodes above the heart 4 inches left of the sternum that goes ouch when you poke it. Although I prefer the ouch point for efficacy, the karate chop point is less obvious in public.” SiewFan Wong, EFT Practitioner based at Gallery Helios Singapore.
For more tools, check out Change Your Mind, Keep the Change